23 KEYS: Relating-301 [S01:M03:T03]

Welcome back! I’m, Doctor David J. Hastings PhD, Dean of Habitology University and host for this tenth 23 Secret Keys to WayBetter Your L.I.F.E. Doctor David TALK’s WayBetternar.

Before continuing from WayBetternar nine, I’d like to share a truth.

#Life is what you have been gifted:

In other words, one’s physical existence.

#Living, however, is what you #DO with the gift.

Accordingly, the passionate purpose that drives these WayBetternars is to enable you to skyrocket your living-conditions to incredible.

How? For the first time in history these WayBetternars not only deliver the irrefutable answers that fully expose what drives you to do, what you #DO, but also provide unique, authentic, substantial and immediately useable insights into what DOing is necessary to forever automate Getting-What-You-Truly-Want.

The target: Living in full experience and excitement, which is the meaning of the acronym L.I.F.E. in the seminar series title.

As did the previous ninth #WayBetternar, this WayBetternar ‘23 KEYS: #Relating-301’ continues disclosure of fresh, unique and immediately useable #Relationship #Keys whose revelations are focused on soaring individual and interpersonal living-conditions to awesome.

Creating #communication Pro-#Habits is critical because in their absence remains only misunderstanding, frustration and a sense of abandonment.

Continuing then, another #Key aspect of mutually beneficial #Communication is C-Tagging or Communication-Tagging. C-Tagging is the skill of including or tagging some detail of the Senders message in follow-up questions or remarks, when the Communication-token is passed of course (previous WayBetternar).

C-Tagging, which is a Receiver Pro-#Habit, is one of the communication essentials because its use enhances both #Sender and #Receiver connection.

As C-Tagging exhibits to the Sender that the Receiver was listening and interested in the message, C-Tagging thus also enhances #trust.

Alternately, when a Receiver diverts to a dissimilar topic without acknowledgement or C-Tagging some part of the Senders communication, the Sender will probably conclude the Receiver was not interested in their value-point and will understandably feel devalued and frustrated, etc.

Remember, no matter how hard you neglect a relationship:

It is not going to get better!

In other words, neglecting to improve #Communication skills will evoke both mistrust and partner isolation and thus result in a downward #intimacy spiral.

Other #Communication dynamics are at play as well that each should try to accommodate: agree on a regular schedule to discuss value-points, otherwise enjoy interactive conversation; mutually decide on talk duration; be sensitive to delivery speed in relation to value-point complexity and Receiver familiarity. Also, so the receiver feels included not excluded, ensure courteous intonation and body language. Above all be patient with each other and agree to enjoy the process.

Additionally, avoid assumptive-thinking or #assuming you have full understanding of another’s meaning. Questioning is #Key because assumptions as they are most times imprecise and not useful are therefore also not #relationship enhancing. Just as with music and art do not assume all the textures you are sending, hearing or seeing are identical for your partner: better to clarify by asking respectful questions and C-Tagging.

Following are a few additional Communication suggestions:

Sender: Tailor communications for the Receiver. In other words, when a topic is unfamiliar to a partner, patiently allow them to come up to speed by respectfully providing shorter snippets (a minute is useful). This #communication Tactic is powerful because it provides many more opportunities for clarification and thus understanding the others perspective.

Sender: Provide an environment of joyful discussion: This will spirit appreciation of your value-points.

Sender: Do not require the Receiver to agree or adopt your value-points as that is unreasonable. However, reasonable is to seek their understanding.

Sender: Always be #inclusive rather than #exclusive. In other words, mutually allow and respect questions and responses.

Sender: Don’t try and win because then you both lose. There is little that is right or wrong or good or bad, Just useful or not-so-useful: So strive for useful as much as possible.

Sender: Sustain a love and belonging posture. Allow mutual passion and spirited conversation.

Receiver: do not interpret communication enthusiasm as a threat. In other words, control your flight and fight chaos-#habits.

Receiver: Don’t ‘you-too’: it sets up defensiveness and controversy rather than mutual #Solutioning.

Develop the Pro-#Habit of wedging an ever widening time-space between an upsetting topic and respectful interactions to mutually Figure-It-Out.

‘#Wedging’ works as it enables both partners to choose from arrays of constructive Pro-#Habit options; rather than having DOing dictated by domesticated destructive chaos-#habits.

Also remember: Most have been deceived that #anger is a valid emotion: it is not … absolutely no resolution is possible while #angry.

Ever wonder why couples #relationships present such difficult challenges? It’s because there are not two interactions occurring between partners but ten. #Habisitology coins the ten interactions between two persons the ‘Relationship Decagon’.

As understanding the ten interpersonal implications contained in the Relationship Decagon will absolutely skyrocket mutual appreciation of each partners perspectives, it is the topic of the next not to be missed WayBetternar entitled ‘23 KEYS: Relating-401’

Your feedback is always appreciated! So, interact and contribute by sending an email to DoctorDavidTALKS.WBYL@gmail.com with the reference-ID ONLY please in the Subject Line.

The reference-ID for the Doctor David TALK’s WayBetternar

just watched is S01:M03:T03.

Until the next WayBetternar, stay safe! Thank You for your time: much appreciated!

[The above a tailored transcript of ‘23 KEYS: Relating-301’ (#23KeysRelating301): reference-ID ‘S01:M03:T03’. Hosted by Doctor David J. Hastings PhD (#DavidJHastings #DoctorDavid), it is the tenth Doctor David TALK’s (#DoctorDavidTALKs) #WayBetternar in a video seminar series available free on the YouTube channel called ‘23 Keys to WayBetter Your L.I.F.E.’ (#23KeysToWayBetterYourLIFE).]